Not good at this blogging business

Even with the convenience of Apps, smart phone,  IPad,  and computer I still manage not to update a diary.  Why is this so hard? I get three pages and stop. Or I get three days into month' trip.  What is the point of writing it? Will I read it? Would I publish it? Would I learn something and not repeat mistakes and gain insight. Bla.

I keep yelling out to the universe thinking God will hear me. I keep thinking that my writing will matter;  that my thoughts will create better realities for me.  I find less of a purpose, my being, everyday.  Why did I think MY thoughts and actions mattered!?

How did I get the advantage of too much food, too many channels,  too many options; but someone with greater skills, drive and purpose die from lack of food, clean water and a unstable country? Why do live thinking my life is empty and thinking if I just had these three things I wouldn't be worried and my life would be perfect, finally?
Korea and writing- two subjects that are pointless for me to spend time thinking and worrying over.

End of the Year Reflection

I have completed 99% of my full year in Korea.  I arrived a year ago with intentions with only staying a year.  I wanted to be a hermit, save money, do the minimum required and return home with some experience teaching EFL and living in another country.

Now, I look back and can't imagine why I had so much anxiety about being here.

1. What am I going to teach?
2. Where will I live?
3. Who will I work with?
4. What will my home be like?
5. What is food going to be like?
6. How much money will I make/save from tutoring?
7. Will my "relationship" back home be okay?
8. Will I become depressed from missing home?
9. How am I going to get around without knowing much Korean?
10. How much traveling will I be doing?
11. Will I make friends here?

Of  course there are/were a myriad of other questions and concerns but at the moment I can't articulate or remember them.

1. I didn't know what grade level I was going to teach. When I applied I just put down that I was open for any location and any grade level.  The recruiter said that would be better for me.  They like applicants that aren't too picky.  I found out on the second to the last day or maybe the last day of orientation that I was going to teach elementary school.  I was totally bummed!  I never taught elementary school.  But oh man, I lucked out. It was exactly what I needed.  Sweet kids, easy schedule and nice teachers.
2. I knew I was going to a city called Daejeon. I looked it up and found some nice things about the city. None of which I have gone and done or see. HAHA. Well, maybe a couple things. I wanted to to do some community service work but it is hard to get around town from where I live. I live on the outskirts and finding community service work in English is hard to come by.  I have four buses that leave from by neighborhood.  There are some hill around us and a river a block behind my apartment. I live live in an apartment called Happy House.  There happened to be five other foreign teachers in that building, which made it easy to live there.  Also the other place, though CLOSER to the school was SO small.  I had to take the good with the not so good. I can't even say it was a bad choice to live so far from the center.  I have bigger place and it is calm.  It sucks when I want to go and do something.  It takes at least 35 minutes just to get anywhere.
3. My co teacher is great. My main co-teacher is always busy. She almost seems too busy to deal with me.  She is on a book making team, teaches at a university 35 minutes away, and she has to worry about me.  She seems to spend a lot of her time on the computer just filling out paperwork.  I hear from other teachers that their co-teacher goes out drinking with them, play sports and talk about life.  For about a five minutes I got jealous. Though I have also heard of co-teachers that are just rude, racist and mean.  I have an awesome school, with awesome co-teachers. There are three English teachers at this school. Two of my first semester teachers I found really strict and boring but I grew to love their class structure and discipline. 
4. I mentioned a bit of this in number 2.  My place is great. It is the size of my brother's and my room put together. Well, I'm not really sure because I have less mess here than what I have accumulated over 30 years in my family home. Rent is included with my contract but they say it would be $400 a month my utilities include gas, electricity, and water/maintenance fees, Internet via Egg, and a cell phone bill. Gas is expensive only in the winter. My bills were about $100 and more when it was cold! The spring and summer a month can be about $7.  Electricity is about $20-$40 depending on how much I want to watch TV and use my AC or heating box.  The water fee is always $15 a month.  Internet is $33 and my phone is under $70.  I spend too much money on food.  Daiso has become my favorite place to buy things for my house.  HomePlus if I want to impress. 
5. The food. The food. Thank goodness I can cook. Thank goodness I was fed Asian meals my whole life.  School food is weird. But hey, it is school food.  It is a bit on the salty side.  Everyday there is soup, rice and kimchi with either a meat or fish and some other side.  Usually the side is another version of a pickled vegetable. We hardly have fresh fruits or vegetables; when we do, we go crazy.  Going out to eat is fun.  Often my friends go to places that are Western like Bon Bon and Eat Me which are decent Italian restaurants. House Grill is our favorite lunch and dinner place...burgers and such.  Muro is a great brunch place and Hades was another place we went to.  Of course we went to the typical bibimbap, mandoo, bbq and noodle places.  I loved eating fried chicken out here. You can get a small cup of that for 2,000/$2.    Shopping for food...
6. Making money is hard.  You aren't suppose to have a second job.  If they find out, you can get fired and deported from the country.  It hardly happens, but it does happen. Probably once a year they make an example of someone, and fire them to scare us, because so many people have side jobs-tutoring or working in a hagwoon (private institute), it has become a joke.  I won't do it. I like my job too much to risk it.  Saving..ehh. at least I have spent money on good stuff- graduate school, traveling to the Philippines for Christmas, traveling around Korea, sent money home and to the Philippines.  
7. I was "dating" a guy before I left. Some how I felt I was in love. Who knows?  But I got over that quick when someone told me he had been talking to someone else.  Ah. Great decision. I have been having fun out here in Korea.  That is all I will say. 
8. I was a bit depressed.  Thank goodness for the internet and Skype and Apps like OTO to make free calls with your phone.  I didn't have a schedule that kept me busy. I wasn't sure about my place in the school. I didn't develop relationship with other GETs and Korean teachers.  It was my first time away from home.  I was bored and I didn't have any outlets.  I found things to keep me busy.  I made friends.  I enrolled in a wooden furniture making class. I took three graduate classes.  I got over that three month hump.  
9. Not knowing Korean...meh...you learn!
10. Traveling...I did some.
11. Friends...damn I hate meeting cool people and then they move away or you move away.  I'm glad they were around for these months.

June

I have ten months of reflection to do.
AND GO!
Nothing insightful but me-centered ramblings.

It is hot but luckily the weather has been cloudy or rainy this month.  I think the rainy season has come early.  My school had decided not to turn on the AC which has caused me to feel faint on several occasions.  I do have a fan and each classroom has at least four ceiling fans. But they just blow hot air around.

My apartment and busses have AC so that is nice. The bad thing about this season is the high humidity in the air. When I dry my clothes,  they never dry fully without a slightly mildew-y smell. There is a laundromat I need to visit. Fabric sprays will only do so much.  I also need to find a DEhumidifier to keep the mold out of my place.